balance

Addiston woke up about 10 times friday night after taking two hours to go down in the first place and I think each of us spent and hour slumped over the railing of her crib with eyes closed, patting her back and praying, for the love of God, that she wouldn't cry when the decision to finally withdraw a hand (gradually, of course, because any mom knows a full-on patting session must first decrease to a slower pat, then slower, then slow plus light, then lighter--until your fingertips are barely grazing their back. Then and only then can you quietly pull away with the chance they won't realize you've dismissed yourself).

She woke up for good when the sun was barely spilling its light into our bedroom window, and for a moment--in my squint-eyed, slow-to-rise wake-up mode--I considered canceling all plans for the day, but a cup of coffee later, I was psyched.

Someone had their first ice cream!




I love weekends. Usually we have a hundred and one things to do and never seem to find the time to fit them all in but this weekend was different, we had no set plans, just summer-stuff, like mow the grass (all jared) pull weeds, fold laundry, organize the spare bedroom that seems to have become a dumping ground for every lost sock, uncased DVD, broken doo-dad, undesirable thing-a-ma-jig and all things missing. We balanced it out with some time for fun, tickle parties, swinging, playing with the new water table that she flippin' loves, and of course some relaxing!


Addy's schedule's off, and she yearns to be secured to my hip and in sight of me at all times which makes for more trying days...and nights, but this too shall pass and when she's 16 and sleeps 18 hours on weekends I'll remind Jared of these days and how it' all balances out.



I look at balance a bit differently now. It isn't a game of keeping score so much where good and bad, chaotic and quiet, stressful and restful have to be even players in our home but more so a measure of our response to harmonize the presence of whatever circumstances happen to be hovering. When challenges come, we accept them, learn from them, chop and puree those dang lemons into something sweet and likewise, when the good and easy comes, we drink it in gulps knowing that, like hardships, it won't last forever. And sleep deprivation is always remedied with an afternoon iced coffee and the best dessert ever!


(yes that is a chocolate-chip cookie topped with an oreo then covered with a brownie)

We had friends over Saturday night, it was casual, laid back and fun. Sunday consisted of amazing burgers after church and becoming "family" with our good friend Nathan, ok so maybe only Verizon considers us family but psh, we're saving money so I'm happy! Then we decided to go to his place to balance it out that he comes to our place about 50 times for each time we go to his. And I must say my favorite quote from the afternoon, "you think your house is safe till there's a baby in it!" it's ok Nathan the 3 head bumps caused no serious damage! He loves her and it's so sweet (someday I'll get a picture of them together), it balances out the 10,000 "aunts" she has that claim her.



Addiston is become quite personable, saying hi to every single person we passed today at the grocery, where not to brag or anything I saved about $50, but in true fashion it balanced out when I had to drive back to the store to be refunded for the 34? green peppers I had bought (it was suppose to be a price match for 1 pepper at 34 cents!) Ah the cosmic scheme of things.

As balance would have it, I've just smashed my arm into cream cheese, and its sticky remains are glued to my forearm. Addy is unhappily waiting from bed, and we are avoiding, trash cans that need to be put away, toys scattered throughout the entire top floor, a basket of towels that need folding and a house with closed blinds that, if open, would reveal a hot mess that calls for clean-up.

When sleep schedules are amended, order will resume. Until then, have a happy week.

It's official

Our girl is 1

Her birth-day was June 11th, which held party #1 but we didn't get to celebrate with family till this past weekend so I didn't count it as official till then (tryin to keep her a baby as long as possible)


Both parties were fun filled and the girl got showered with more stuff than I'm sure she ever needed.




Her first taste of real sugar. she smeared the icing all over the place not really putting it in her mouth till the daddy showed her what the stuff was for and then it was all over.




I tried to clean up the leftovers and she made it abuntently clear that she didn't approve and had seconds.


At the family party she knew what was up and made a much bigger mess.


Notice the tiara? My dad bought it for her when she was only a day old, we (all three of us) wore it in the hospital and we've dubbed it the birthday tiara. Much to my surprise she wore it at both parties with minimal tampering.


I know it sounds cliche but I seriously can't believe that she's one. I'm sure there were times in the past 365 days that felt as if they drug on but for the most part I enjoyed every second, loved holding her and watching her grow. She's changed us, so much so that the thought of a family of two sounds foreign. This song was playing when she came into the world and I only whip it out for special occasions. I know that I'm not suppose to and people always say that you'll forget, that the excitement and the hormones and the drugs will get to ya but I can close my eyes and go back to that hospital room where magic happened, where we waited with anticipation, waited through pain and fatigue, waited for twenty eight long hours before they decided they were going in after her. It seemed like an eternity for her to get to me, I lost all sense of time in the operating room (and never got it back) but then I got to hear her little cries and kiss her face, smell her sweet new baby smell, which 10x1 any mom would say trumps a new car smell! Her daddy got to spend the first few hours with her and as much as I hate to say it I'm glad he did because he needed that time, and she's had him wrapped around her little finger ever since. It did however seem like torture to know that she was here she was just on the other side of a wall and I couldn't hold her. After what seemed like an eternity I got ahold of my girl and it's been pure love ever since!

stream of consciousness

Ah summer is setting in, it's hot, and muggy and the birds wake up before we do. The lightning bugs twinkle along side us at night as we take our family walk and the smell of grills being fired up is a nightly tempting, as you sit there eating your gnocchi and garlic sauce (The least grillable meal ever) while smelling your neighbor searing some steaks! AH summer. I've got 14 bug bites to proove summers here, how bout you?

We've been in overdrive all week finishing up year old projects and making decorations for the little one's party Saturday. There is a bomb of pink and glitter in our spare bedroom, I kid you not there isn't even room for me to put my hand on the floor without touching something way too frilly!

I can't believe she'll be a year old already, it seems like just yesterday Jared handed her to me and I got to kiss her little cheeks and smell her sweet baby smell. Every day this week when we wake up I've been telling her about this time last year. About how Sunday was the day she was suppose to come and didn't, and how sad I was that I didn't get to meet her. That my friend Tiffany and I walked malls for 8 hours a day for three days strait trying to put me into labor. And tomorrow we are going to return to the scene of the crime, the sketchy chinese restaurant that did the trick of putting me into labor.

We've gotten into a groove, lately and I'm scared to say it because as soon as I do she'll hit a growth spurt or bud some more teeth and everything will be thrown out of wack but for now we're clicking. It's probably not the routine that I would have planned, 6am wake up calls and 20 minute naps (once a day) but lets face it I don't quite make the rules around her anymore! So I've thrown the plan out the window and have embraced the second cup of coffee!

I do however have some say in bed time, it's gotten pushed back an hour or so since the sun decided to stay out and play a little longer. We have been going on walks after dinner and Addiston loves it, she bounces up and down the whole time, pointing at different things saying "what's that?" which really sounds more like WAZZAT? but she bobs her head when she says it and then jibber jabbers as if she's answering her self. The chick is Steve Erwin in training I tell ya, I'm pretty sure she'd rather live in the trees behind our house!

After bath time we read stories if she's not acting too tired and my favorite has become a recorded one from my parents mainly because I have no work to do, I just turn the pages. She doesn't notice much till the end when my dad's tone of voice changes and he says "Love you Addy, miss you lots" that always perks her up and she smiles real big and waves to the book.

The leisurely aura of summer is slowly creeping into our routine, and we happily welcome it. Even the mundane errands suddenly take on a new vibe, trips to TJMAxx become slower-paced while we wind our cart through aisles of beach towels, pool rafts and picnic baskets.
Bring it on summer! I see your 97 degrees and raise you a pink lemonade!

memories

The other day my friend Sarah told me that, if in five years our circle of friends isn't here, she's glad we're in each others life, even if just for this part. It was what I needed to hear. Not in a rude, way like, good I'm glad I won't have to be putting up with you much longer, but because it's something that I struggle with: living in the here and now, not planning out my next step, but she's right, right here, right now at this stage of my life I have the exact perfect people surrounding me. Funny how that always seems to work out.

I remember my mom taking us to all sorts of random things when we were younger; kite flying day at church, make your own bird feeder at the park, she'd buy art projects for us to do at home (still does) and clips articles of animals once spotted in her grand children's yard and mails it to them, to teach them and because she was hell-bent on making a memory. Except my mother would never say "hell-bent"

Well yesterday was my first mom-forcing-child-to-make-memories-with-an-educational-twist experience. AKA Addiston's first Gymboree class! I've lived here for almost two years now, and I've driven past the place a few dozen times. It's right by one of my favorite malls, yes, that's shallow, but, to tell the truth I thought the mommy track was a few years off but since she arrived I've always wanted to be there, between those bright red and blue padded walls, fully embracing the crazy embarrassing mom within. And now that I have a kid and am, well, hell-bent on filling my mother's shoes, it was high time we made the excursion!

So we did, and she was great, she is most definately her father's daughter but she was great.

She was reserved, taking it all in, watching the little wobbly 14 month old veterans to see how things were done then if she felt confident in her ability to do what they did she'd give it a try. (I'd of been all dude watch me do this crazy trick that I've never done before but sure as the sky is blue I'll probably be able to do it on my first try and better than you ever thought about-humble I know). If someone stole her toy she'd just grab a new one. Totally her father's daughter, just all calm and chill, like oh, ok, you'd like to play with that toy? ok I'll grab this one and we can still be friends.

She tried new things, like crawling up ramps, and balancing on a beam, climbing up odd little purple ladders.

And it was nice, to be the proud mama. Standing there side by side with three time mom's who get excited right along with you. Who are impressed by the fact that your kid didn't shed a single tear at her first class. And impressive she was. But it was nice, to be in the company of my people, the people who get me. The one's that just tilt their head and smile at your pride, it's refreshing and welcomed.

I've been going through this weird funky stage of feeling isolated, I don't know if that's really the right word for it but we don't have a lot of parent friends and while we love our friends it's different, not bad, just different, so when Amy Poehler recently gave the commencement speech to Harvard's Class of 2011, while very funny, it held some poignant truths, that rang out to me:

"Be open to collaboration. Other people and other people's ideas are often better than your own. Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you. Spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life. No one is here today because they did it on their own. ...take your risks now. As you get older, you become more fearful and less flexible..."

I think you can put those words to parenting?!? That it's good to have people who get it, the one's who have the proud smile and extra wipes. But at the same time it's nice to have mostly pre-child friends who can babysit, and have innovative ways to try and get your little one to go to sleep.

So take from it what you will, that you need people around you, all sorts of people, and in the cosmic scheme of things it always works out that the right person is always there. Some people get recycled, they were there when you were 5 helpin you learn to use the bathtub as a slip & slide, and they're there when your 24 and trying to keep your kid from slip & slidin' in the tub. Others are in your life like a one hit wonder, for a brief minute of support and encouragement, givin you the warm heebie geebie feeling then they're gone, but you've got the great memories they left you with.