stream of consciousness

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs;
Dust go to sleep!

I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
-Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Last night she fell asleep before bath time, and, the daddy, instead of putting her down just held her. It was precious. She's getting bigger, literally and figuratively, learning new things every day and getting better at crawling that we know in no time at all she'll be fully mobile, running around the house, not wanted to be cuddled and so while we can we just hold her a little longer.


We find ourselves going from 0 to 60 on the weekends, stuffing in as much as they can fit and this weekend was no exception, two more birthday celebrations to add to the list and thanksgiving #1. Addiston succeeded at scaring the life out of me for the first time and I didn't like it. We were at a friends house and she was sleeping in their spare bedroom and rolled off the bed. She has slept there safely before and is fine, but none the less I was an instant wreck and Jared had to console me as much as her. She bounced back in no time and enjoyed me holding her the rest of the evening. Sunday evening we got to hear her laugh harder than she ever has before, to a friend dancing in his kitchen and singing about cottage cheese. She laughed so hard that yesterday she was slightly horse and sounded like an old man whenever she babbled. Love it!


I try to get stuff done, be productive, stay positive. I am fueled by the satisfaction of crossing things off of the to-do list. I love to surprise Jared with little odds and ends I pick up while I'm running errands. I find myself walking him around the house at night saying, "hey look what I did" like a kid showing off my latest art project. I love the weeks where I get everything crossed of my hypothetical lists, and then some. Then there are the days and weeks that I just don't care if the laundry all gets folded and put away or if we eat home cooked meals every night. I find myself wanting to stay in sweats all day, or just holding Addistion because she's a lil fussy and starting to teeth.

Well the last few days have been the latter.

It's taking much longer than I wanted to paint the foyer of our house so I'm gonna admit I'm over it, the insanely high vaulted ceilings over a double stairwell are just gonna have one coat of paint for the foreseeable future and I don't care. The laundry from last week finally got folded today and honestly I don't know why, because it was so wrinkly from sitting in the dryer over the weekend, it probably should have been washed again. Addiston is a breath of fresh air. When I don't really feel like being super mom, she's cool with that, she totally doesn't mind if we just hang out at home and drink coffee till noon, and truth be told, it's happened more than once in the past week.


I am needing this holiday weekend to come. I miss my family. The chaotic way that the kids run in and out of rooms chasing one another and "sharing" toys. The way that there are four conversations going on at a single dinning table and somehow one manages to keep track of and be involved in each of them. The passing around of babies and catching up on the happenings of our individual lives. I'm starting to plant roots here in Nashville, get involved in the community, form meaningful friendships, let people in and while I'm so grateful for a home away from home I have to admit that sometimes it scares me. I always swore that I'd move home, live near my sister and my parents, see them once a week. And while that still may happen Jared and I find ourselves realizing that what we have here is rare. That finding people that love you and pray for you, people who love your baby like one of their own and would go out of their way to help you, isn't something you can duplicate. So Que Sera, Se la Vie who knows what the future holds so for now we're so very thankful for the people who have become our family.


Oh and another book from Dolly!


Enjoy your holiday!