Tuesday, August 16, 2011


So I've started this post half a dozen times and nothing seems to sound right. I write and re-write and read and then frantically jam on the delete button like i'm tapping out the melody to "we will rock you"

This weekend was emotionally draining. It was one of those times when you know that you're doing good, not well-good, but there were growing pains. I had two good friends have two different yet related problems both of which shook me to my core. I hate that I've had to be more grown up than I want to be at times in my life. Unfortunately I've had some not so pleasant experiences, including multiple miscarriages and traces of cancer, but by the grace of God and an understanding, patient, husband I've grown from them. So the last two day's Addiston and I have partaken in a little thing I like to call retail therapy!

There are times when I have no idea what to say-shocked aren't you! But I know that when I was going through a hard time I just wanted someone there beside me. No words were necessary! Sometimes I begged for no words.
My parents were the worst people to be in a tense situation with, my dad hums different show tunes and pop music from the before I was born while my mom makes lists of anything pertinent to the given situation. Then if we are in a doctor's office my dad will pick up one of the falling part children's books and start reading you green egg's and ham as if that will make you feel better when you're being tested for some rare disease!

Wow-tangent, I love you dad!

I believe that the world is full of good people, good things, and good intentions, (like my dad's singing of the andy griffith theme song) I see good every day in the stories I read and people I encounter, and yet I’m privy to the fact that the world has its share of ugly too. I hate that I've been face to face with the ugly in the world and I hate even more that my friends have to as well, the thought of Addiston someday having to experience the pain that our fallen world causes, is unbearable, but as my friend amber said, maybe I had to go through my valley so that I could help her through. You don't tread alone my dear.

I was called strong this weekend, and I was shocked-speechless. Here's a little secret, I feel like the least strong person in the world. Most of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, what I should be doing or if what I am doing, I'm doing right! But I do know fear, I know pain and I know that a smile goes a long way, a prayer goes even further and having someone who can just sit with you when your in pain is a blessing.

*Sorry if this post was confusing or depressing! I'll be more chipper next time!*

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