2 months

Charlotte is just the sweetest baby. She's a whopping 10 pounds and has grown to 22 inches.

She (like most 3rd children I'm sure) seems so easygoing and has made going from 2 to 3 kids so smooth. She sleeps through the night and has been my least painful nurser (moms-you know) seriously though, not once has there been a single issue, which is SO nice. Like Isabella she has lost all her hair and is starting new.

She is freakishly observant for a 2 month old, watching her big sisters so intently, and listening and responding to our cues. It's so cute.

Did I mention that she sleeps? It's glorious. She usually goes down between 8-9 and wakes to eat about 5-6 then sleeps again until 8-9. Waking happy!

Charlotte is easy to take on our adventures and loves being worn in her wrap. This month we went strawberry picking with some friends.

She still catnaps throughout the day and isn't on a set schedule which works out perfectly with our lives because no two consecutive days look the same. However she loves to cuddle on me when she sleeps.

About halfway through the month we transitioned to size 1 diapers (She's tiny) and she still has no interest in a pacifier or bottle. But for now thats ok. She loves to lay on the daybed in the afternoon so we can spy on her sisters playing outside. 

We're pretty smitten with this sweet thing and I can't imagine life without her! 

Seriously Over Due

I apologize in advance for the random scatteredness of this post. My mind is scattered right now so it's a good reflection! ok, so where did we leave off? My days and weeks and insanely long pregnancy are all running together. Right now I'm 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant but hey it's almost midnight so lets be honest I'm gonna make it to 41 & 5, and can I honestly tell you I NEVER thought I'd be THIS pregnant?!? I hate to say it but I still feel ok physically but mentally/emotionally I'm sorta loosing it.

Thursday was my 41 week appointment and Jared came with me for moral support. I was still only 1cm dilated and my OB did another membrane sweep which incase you hadn't deduced did NOTHING! She offered to do a c-section the next day (they can't do a standard induction because I've had 2 previous c-sections) but Jared and I agreed before we ever went in that because there is already a mass which could potentially hinder her breathing we want to give her lungs as much time as possible to develop as possible. Since we weren't on board with a next day surgery they kept me for a Non Stress Test. It was pretty boring, and gave Jared and I a chance to breath and discuss more what we wanted to do with this labor/delivery.

 After everything was given the all clear, we discussed when this little one would need to join us. I trust my OB and love that she takes into account my research, knowledge of my own body, hopes for the birth, and explains things from all sides so that we can make an informed decision together. Like I said Jared and I agreed that we wanted to allow this little bit to stay in as long as possible to which we discussed the risks of going past 40 and 41 weeks gestation, and that she was still ok with me trying to VBAC if I went into labor naturally, but that we can't medically induce because I've had previous c-sections, and it's just not safe to force unnaturally strong contractions with synthetic drugs on a uterus that has been previously opened (twice). We compromised and agreed for an extra ultrasound to check on the baby one more time.

In the mean time the girls' and I have done lots of walking, parks, the neighborhood, malls. I've been drinking weird teas, eating absurd amounts of pineapple and dates (look it up) and just about every other old wives tale there is to try to induce labor (except drink castor oil-I'm a little nervous about that one) The girls have enjoyed all the outings, and we even threw in a drive in movie this weekend to ease the constant activity. There was a double feature of Zootopia and Kung-Fu Panda 3 and with too many snacks was still only $20 for the whole family! STEAL!

A few laps around the gardens at Opry 

my little family and at least a dozen pillows in the back of the van at the drive in

Well This morning was a follow up ultrasound to check on our little girl. We all went as a family, the girls thought it was pretty cool to see their little sister on the inside of me and it was a basic, short ultrasound so I knew they could handle it. The tech we had was not the best, she didn't check as much  of the fun little stuff and was less informative than the others we've had. The mass is still there, but fluid levels look good still and blood flow from the placenta through umbilical cord was healthy. She took a practice breath almost right away which is a good sign and her heart rate was good. So with my doctors blessing I was allowed to leave and stay pregnant till at most Friday.

I'm scheduled for a c-section friday morning if I don't go into labor before then. So my sweet little family spent the day (seriously 6+ hours) walking with me so that maybe this little lady would come out. We hit a few stores, walked laps around a mall and then decided to join costco so we could walk laps there. The girls were TROOPERS and it made it SOOO much easier that Jared was with us. I had a few hours of contractions but after sitting down for dinner and then taking a short bath they've tapered off and here we are.

Right now I'm trying to wrap my head around potentially having to have a c-section simply because my body won't go into labor for one reason or another. It's easier to swallow after trying to labor or because your not medically allowed to labor but being cleared to VBAC and trying to go into labor and not is tough!

Her diaper bag is packed, although we may not get to bring her home from the hospital right away if she needs emergent surgery (which we are prepared to hear) My hospital bag is packed except the last minute toiletries, Hospital snacks are in the van, Stupid high tech baby monitor arrived today, and we put all the final touches on the nursery this weekend.

We're ready in every way possible.

Balance

Balance y'all...I'm not finding it!

I have been so blessed this pregnancy. Save a little scare early on with a short stint on bed rest, this pregnancy has been great. I've felt wonderful, been able to eat whatever I want, (and more) and genuinely my only pregnancy symptom minus the shrinking wasteline is that I'm tired.

Life has finally started to slow down after the roller coaster that was summer! We feel settled into the house, most of the unpacking is done, we're calling a hiatus on all things house until after the new year when we plan to tackle the nursery and a few organizational things we'd like done before baby.

We're figuring out (slowly) a new house schedule (wood floors need to be cleaned A LOT), gifting the girls' swiffer dusters has been major help and letting the dogs enjoy the huge back yard! Homeschooling is going well. I've loved tutoring Addiston's Kindergarten class this semester and we're doing well with staying on track at home. Addiston is starting to read which for me is a double edged sword. The girl is a bookworm and would happily sit and let me read to her for HOURS every single day, which I love. So I'm thrilled that she is picking up some more on her own especially after we had a small stint of stubbornness and she decided she didn't want to read, but now that it's clicking I'm a little sad to see her grow up just a little more.

Jared's new job schedule still has us all confused. He works mostly 9:30-6:30 which is hard on the girls. By the time he gets home we have dinner and then start getting ready for bed. We do get to eat breakfast and dinner everyday as a family and I'm really enjoying this season of sitting and just chatting with the girls over meals before the new one arrives and we're distracted by crying and nursing schedules and lack of sleep. The girls miss having more play time with their dad, so we're trying to be intentional about carving out more weekend time as opposed to doing chores and running errands.

For the most part thats it in life right now. I'm in bed shortly after the girls every night, so Jared's getting in some reading, video games, and helping with dishes or laundry that I have left over from the day. But we're lucky to get in a run down of the day, much less a long talk. Luckily we have 2 date nights scheduled this month so we should get to catch up there, and we're taking a birthing class on saturdays, so long drives are anticipated!  I've text a few friends here and there but pretty much unless I see people at church or our homeschool community day I've been MIA to just about every relationship I have :(

Last Month our college friends came to stay for a long weekend and oh my word the sweetness of 5 little girls playing!

(Praise the Lord for having someone who REALLY gets it!)

Jared and Jesse were college roommates, Amber and I hit it off first semester of Freshman year. We were married within months of each other and had our first 2 (4?) children in the same seasons, we are now embarking on homeschooling together and are all food hippies. A decade of friendship in and we laugh at how much life we've done together and how in a few short months we will have 6 daughters between us!


Last week we went to dinner with dear friends to find out that they are having a girl less than 1 month after we are. I'm so glad for a friend to do pregnancy with and a built in friend for our little girl!

I know there are seasons in life and I'm glad things are running smoothly for our family and household but being an pregnancy-exhausted extrovert is hard. When you yearn to go to dinner with friends, or sit and catch up over coffee but really all you want to do is sleep, your mind and body are at odds with each other! I'm hoping I get a small spurt of energy before this third little girl arrives to catch up with some friends and family over the holidays. In the mean time I'm clinging to forced outings and pop-in visitors!

It's been a while

At a young age I discovered that I had the travel bug.

The insatiable desire to find new places, explore different cultures, and be with new people. 

I like to go all in when I travel, eat the local fare, visit a small white church off Main Street, find a hidden book shop and spend an hour rummaging through it's treasures while milking my coffee. 

The church we went to on our honeymoon

Everybody's got their thing, some like to stay in the same hotel everywhere they go, eat the same chain restaurants they do at home, and just escape. Some people climb mountains, some want to be in the middle of the dessert. Some hide out in the middle of the woods.

The ocean has always called to me. 

My favorite vacations all take place at an ocean. Our little family on the Atlantic. Our honeymoon in the south pacific. Our anniversary trip to Italy. (technically that was the Mediterranean sea but thats close enough) It's calmness, it's flow, it's power. The sound, the smell, the hypnotic way it gets me. The ocean and I, we're tight. 

I love to walk in just so it's foamy white peaks kiss the bottom of my knee caps, letting the tide pull the sand slowly over my feet. Pushing me slowly out towards shore then the undertow pulling me slightly in. I cold stand there for hours. In awe of nature and the God who created it. And I have. 

But you know what inevitably happens.

I get lulled in by the push and pull. The sound, the smell the hypnotic way it gets me and eventually I realize I've been standing there for hours and the tide is coming in and those foamy white peaks are no longer kissing my knee caps but my abdomen is submerged and my shoulder just got splashed by the spray. Then out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of a full blown wave, but it's already to late and I'm flat out.  I get worked by the undertow and I'm under for a minute. Down for the count. I come up and make my way to shore but it takes a minute to catch my breath, regain my strength and wrap my head around what just happened.  I sit there and stare at the ocean. Then eventually get up take a deep breath, dust myself off and get on with it. 

And you know what thats exactly what happens in life too. 

You get lost in the day to day. The mundane. The ins and outs. The reading of the same book every afternoon, the wiping of the bootys and divvying out of snacks. The finding of the favorite blanket and the fixing of the toy that ALWAYS breaks. The unloading of the dishwasher and folding laundry, cooking dinner, and scrubbing floors. You forget to take a step back, to watch yourself. You get in over your head and then when you're already struggling to get back to safety you get knocked out and you just gotta take a minute.  

So I took a minute. 

I took a deep breath.

And I needed it. 

But ya know what?

Minutes over. Life. Goes. On.

So here's to dusting myself off, taking a deep breath and finding my sea legs again! 

where does the time go?

Wow it's been nearly a month since my last post and so much has happened! Sorry I tend to drop off the face of the earth from time to time but Having two kids close together in age as a VERY type A person has rocked my world. I've been focusing on keeping up with the house and I refuse to eat junk food so I've been cooking up a storm! Our schedules seem to pick up this time of year and woah does our laundry reflect that!

Readers digest version of our lives...Go!

Grandma turned 90!




Someone had her first big girl bath...




Doing dishes is now a favorite past time of one of these two people, I'll let you decide which.



We got a date night



These are RARE!! We went to our favorite restaurant. It's a  little international restaurant in a strip mall of all places but the food is some of the best in Nashville. It's called Cafe Bosna and if you live in the are you MUST try it!

The civic's windows were smashed in



but nothing was stolen!

This chicky is LOVING school!



I've also decided that the garage is officially the weirdest place to take pictures!

Sister love is growing!



The daddy had a work trip to NYC...and brought us home presents!



And while he was gone Addiston wanted our "nail toes" to matchy



Speaking of matching...this was sheer coincidence!



And Elmo apparently needs to come to church!



Ok there's the basics. I wish I had time to go over everything that's going on right now but I will try and do more frequent updates! However since Isabella is still napping a few things that I am loving right now:

We have pajama day at home every monday! It's the only day of the week that we don't have to be anywhere so we wear pajamas all day, bake, clean, do laundry-stuff that is suitable for rocking a tattered t-shirt and spit-up stained sweats!

I've discovered the show downton abby and love it. I caught up on the first two seasons and can't wait for the third to start.

Unlike most girls who play dress-up and say they are going to a ball or want to be pretty like a princess, Addiston proudly declares, I go to church! Every time the girl is shown a dress she states "thats pretty for church" I love that she gets so excited to go to church-it's her favorite place-well maybe it's tied with chick-fil-a, but her best friends are there, and I love that!

Isabella is such an amazing sleeper. Since we brought her home from the hospital she has slept through the night all but maybe a handful of times! It's such a blessing after her light sleeping big sister!

I've been baking pumpkin anything and everything! Tis the season and I'm running with it. I love Pumpkin.

A few of our friends are on a mission trip to peru right now. If you are the sort please say a prayer for them.

ok I hear crying, I promise I'll be back sooner!

just the two of us

I've started this post probably 10 times: gotten side tracked by laundry, baked cookies, nursed a baby, wasn't feelin' it, tapped the delete button to the rhythm of "we will rock you" and now I concede, the words aren't flowing poetically and I am to the point of just wanting to remember.

Sorry for the lack of eloquence!

I miss my big girl. I've been right here with her, she's been right under my nose (more like my feet) she sticks close these days, making sure she gets as much attention as possible. We try and give her what's due, but as any parent knows when a new baby arrives-it's hard! 

The other day Jared worked from home and while Isabella was taking a milk coma kinda nap I tucked her into a bouncy seat in the den adjacent from Jared's desk and snached up Addiston for a special shopping trip to Target. No agenda, no to-do's, no grocery list. Just shopping-the way it was intended, fun, looking at whatever grabbed your eye. Alone time with my girl-just the two of us.

Sorry for the blurriness of the photos they were taken with my phone at lightening (2 year old) speed.

I told her she could pick any color! She was confused. But we landed on an electric purple.

We're still working on the whole potty training thing-she's opposed right now (something we expected after having a baby) but I told her she could pick out big girl panties, and we purchased some very over priced disney princess undergarments!

We browsed the toys, dollar spot, and then ended up in the new grocery section where we bought bananas and cookie mix for daddy. 

Jared traded me places when we got back home while I fed Isabella and made cookies with Addiston.

 It was good to get away with Addy and just listen to her talk, with no interruptions, not being distracted, and learning more about who she is: shy but spunky, smart, and sweet! She has purple toe nails, and has told that to everyone who will listen! 

ok no sappy wordy ending! I just wanted to remember my day with my girl!

Sister, Sister

We're slowly finding our groove around the Miller household these days. The help has left and I'm on the mend so we're finding our new routine and getting to know ourselves as a family of four!

Our first family outing was to church on Sunday. After I had Addiston I was perfectly content to hole up in the house for 6 weeks only leaving to go to doctor's appointments. This time around after about 5 days home I started to go stir crazy. I was a rebel and talked Jared into letting me go to church (3 days before I was suppose to leave the house) I needed out and it was good for my soul to be in service and to introduce our newest addition to our amazing church family!

Yes we all 4 coordinate, we always do when we go to church but I have a feeling it gets exponentially harder with each family member added. (not to mention the fact that Jared only owns 2 pink shirts)

Isabella is two weeks old today and to us it's been obvious from the moment we saw her that she looks just like her big sister. I was ecstatic about this little tid-bit. I have three sisters and while I look as if I could be related to one of them I always envied those that you could without a shadow of a doubt tell were siblings! Isabella was born exactly 1 pound lighter than Addiston and besides filling out a little the only noticeable difference is that her hair isn't quite as long.

An hour after birth


Hospital picture

(yes I made sure they wore the same outfit-I just love the pink ruffles!)

Headed home


In the little time we've had with two girls we've already had fun dressing them alike. I know that my time in doing this is limited! I HATE my childhood pictures where I'm wearing the exact same outfit as my siblings. I don't mind coordinating and looking like a family but everyone wearing the same thing is only cute on the very young-and unknowing!




I know they can't wear these individually! They remind me of my grandma. She used to tell all of her children, and grandchildren that we were her favorite-in private of course as to not let on to the others of her game. We all thought that we were her pride and joy until one day we wised up and put the pieces together.

Well thats it for now. I'll be back soon to update about our adventures with 2 girls but for now I need rest and a drink of water!

busy

ok real quick, Addy's first art project from mom's group last week,



On our drive home Jared casually made the assumption that our whole week was booked...wasn't it? I retaliated that we had Saturday morning free but that I wanted to put up christmas decorations. He smiled. When somebody asks me how we're doing I instinctively reply, "good but busy." Busy is how I always respond, and it's become second nature to have it ready to fire off in response to any question. And Busy becomes this black hole that mysteriously abducts us away from the humble land of availability. I've lately been reminded though that everyone's busy. I think we often make the mistake of assuming that our worth somehow corresponds with how busy we are. We find ourselves bragging about how many responsibilities we have how at the end of the day we're so fried we can't do anything, but then there's the flip side, We've all done it, faked being busy to get off the phone, or out of a lunch date we fear may be awkward.

If companies struggle all year to break even and Black Friday finally flips the switch to gaining profit, then perhaps I should do likewise and focus on the rest of the year as pure gain. I'm going to enjoy it, to embrace the busy as my life and not something keeping me from my life. After all I did sign up for this!

So I'm going to let my girl help me with my "busy" like doing laundry, because let's face it her little face lights up when that machine dings after you push start!



And I'll let her help with the grocery shopping.



And I'll stop what I'm doing and play "help" (where she pretends she's trapped behind the baby gate.)



I'll read her a few extra books in the afternoon extending storytime by at least one more giggle and a hug, we'll have more dance parties. I'll teach her a new word or a good place to tickle her daddy. We'll bake more scones, and have adventures, we'll try and forget that time we were forced to pause and try and be in the moment. Giving thanks for every moment. For now Jared's dad is in town and we are torn between cheering for our two favorite teams: OSU and Duke. Addiston had no problem choosing a side.

stream of consciousness

It is about this time of year that I crave shutting everything off, trading on-the-go schedules for quiet ones revolving around crossword puzzles and new books. And while I still enjoy the thrill and the challenge of juggling activities and opportunities, I smile with the knowledge that the last months of the year bring togetherness and fellowship. Addressing Christmas cards, searching for new recipes, spending time with friends, decorating the house, and tunneling my efforts into what matters most...our family.

It has been two weeks since my last post and for that I am sorry. I'm been finishing some projects (more on that another time) and starting others. And unlike most of our friends who had summer vacation where they were here and there and tried to fit as much as they could into those few months of freedom provided by the good ol' mother nature, our busy season is just starting up.



I had to put myself on a clean schedule and I must admit it's working out but at the same time I must admit that I hate it. Since we've been married I've done a pretty good job of keeping up with the house and I don't know what happened in the last two months but all of a sudden I couldn't get a room dusted to save my life. So a schedule was made, and Jared picked some house "chores" off a list that according to him was too long. I've been abiding by my daily tasks and am very happy to say that the house is dust free and the floors-well hopefully they're clean because earlier tonight I let my kid eat goldfish off of them.

I don't know what to say when people compliment my life. I hear the, "you're always on top of things," and "you have your stuff together," "you're life is perfect." But I don't feel like I've done anything "right" to deserve this life. To be a stay at home mom to a beautiful little girl whom I adore, I assuredly didn't have the brain power to construct some of the stuff my super talented husband has and sometimes I feel guilty that I don't have a corporate job to help pay for the house and cars. My life is not perfect, there are times when I stub my toe and mutter a word that I pray Addiston doesn't pick up. Jared and I have to apologize to each other, I have to reality check myself when I want to go out and Addy just isn't in the mood. I skip showering more days than I'd like to admit and I haven't gotten to call my sisters in more time than my call history will show. But I try to look at the brighter side and it helps that I'm Type A and maybe slightly OCD. I know that staying home with a sometimes cranky 16 month old is a HUGE blessing. That I can make up new expletives like "garfunkle" and that my husband is more that happy to work so that I can. That I can pick up with my sisters right were we left off.



This past weekend was pumpkin fest and I may have had a minor melt down (that Jared handled like a champ if I might add) right as we were pulling into the corn field turned parking lot because I forgot my camera. He offered to turn around so I could get it (back at my parents, not in Nashville) but I declined and we had a good time without documentation. But I later did borrow my parents house to her with some ohio fall action.



I try to keep up on stuff, sending birthday cards, sale's at my favorite store, cooking, cleaning, what's going on in my friends lives but it doesn't always happen. Sometimes, it's laborious and I'm critical and it just feels like I'm trying too hard. Sometimes that's true. But you do what you do, so Sorry if I missed sending you a birthday card but on the brighter side I have another chance next year!



No, there are not enough hours in a day to fit it all in. Our passions, our talents, our friends, our kids, our jobs, our list of to dos. And the answer to "How does she do it?" is probably always going to be "...the best she can."