A whole new journey

So yesterday was the three hour glucose test for gestational diabetes. Jared went into work for a few hours on Sunday so that he could go with me, which was a Godsend because I felt terrible for most of the time I was there.

I had to strictly monitor my carb and sugar intake over the weekend and fast after dinner in sunday night. When I got to the doctor's office at 8am on Monday they took my blood so that they could see the baseline glucose level, then I had to drink another super sweet syrupish beverage, except this one was twice as sweet as the first. (If you've ever worked in a restaurant-which I think everyone should be required to do at some point, imagine drinking the concentrate that gets mixed with carbonated water to make the soda.) Thats how thick and disgustingly sweet this stuff is.

After about ten minutes I was feeling pretty queasy and like I was going to pass out. The waiting room was loud and bright and I was tired and grumpy=not a good combination. After one hour they took my blood again to see how the glucose drink was effecting my system.

We had to wait another hour, so we went out to the car to sit this time to get away from all the craziness since I wasn't feeling well. Time for another prick, listen to those of you who say that giving blood is no big deal-it is to me, so back off, it really hurts!

The final hour I was actually starting to feel a little bit better so we stayed in the waiting room and read the books that we both brought, Jared a John Grisham, Me a David McCullough. (On a side note I would like to point out that one of my favorite things about my husband is that he and I can sit side by side and read for hours, without a word. It's a pleasant peacefulness that we share and rarely get to enjoy so in a way I was happy to be waiting for them to take my blood!) A chapter later and it was time for my final stick!

Well three hours and four pricks later, it was over, I had put a peanut butter and banana sandwich in my purse to eat as soon as I was done because by that time it had been about 16 hours since I had consumed anything and I knew I would be starving-best thing I've ever thought of!

This morning I got the call, my test results were in, and I do in fact have gestational diabetes.

I was shocked, tears flooded my eyes and I couldn't think strait. How could I have this? I'm small, seriously, small! I eat healthy, I stay active, I've done everything, literally EVERYTHING you're suppose to do when your pregnant.

The nurse began talking to me about what I need to do now and I made her repeat it three times because I knew I wasn't comprehending. She could tell I was upset and tried to calm me down, She told me that more than likely it is not my fault, everybody's body responds differently to the pregnancy hormones. The nurse was as surprised as I was. She said she never would have guessed that I of all people would have GD, but here it is... I have to go to dietitian, and learn how to test my blood sugar everyday (oh joy, more needles!) and more than likely go on a pill. Worst case scenario is that Jared will have to give me a shot everyday, but that's only if the pills don't work.

Jared was as surprised as I was, when I told him, but assured me we'd get through this and be fine. I called my parents and told them, they were both equally shocked, saying they were sorry and tried to stay positive.

Honestly, I'm a little bit devastated. I feel like I'm failing my daughter and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm scared that in some way she will be harmed by all of this, I want her to be safe and healthy, I want to protect her.

So here we go, bring on the meal-plans, the testing strips, and whatever else they make me do. 10 weeks, that's all that's left till Addiston gets here, 10 weeks. I can do anything for ten weeks. (even let my husband give me a shot everyday?)