Wednesday, June 30, 2010

This new life

It's hard to remember a different life. One that didn't spill over with overwhelming love, exhaustion, joy, and the newfound fears for the future.

The sweet way she hums when she's waking up only rouses my "mommy ears" Jared still sleeps like a rock and if it is possible I am an even lighter sleeper than I was pre-baby.

The way she pumps her arms and legs all in random harmony when she gets excited, but if you wait just a few moments too long, the sweet breathy gasps of excitement turn to fussy whimpers of confusion as if to say, "why aren't you feeding me yet?"

I swear she dreams, of what I have no idea, but the way she furrows her brow (just like her daddy), clasps her hands as if in prayer, smiles, and sporadically shoots her arms strait in the air, Jared says it's as if she's being arrested.

I could stare at her constantly, and often I do. :)

The thought of her growing up brings me to tears-literally. Not the actual growing into a person, the getting taller, learning to walk, talk, and learning part, but the going out into the world part. Jared randomly asks me if I'm going stir crazy staying home with her, and the honest truth is NO, I like it. I appreciate my safe little bubble of bliss and well lets face it ignorance. But the thought of her being hurt, tricked, lied to, is unbearable, I knew I would worry about her and want to protect her but the immense urge to keep her safe from all harm is more than I imagined it ever could be. I promise I won't turn into one of those crazy overprotective parents that puts their child in a plastic bubble but lets just say I definitely understand, and no longer judge those who do. :)

I don't know what I did to deserve this little miracle! She is so perfect. A glimpse of what heaven must truly be like. I can't fathom the amount of love that I have for her, it must be something similar to what the Lord has for us. I thought I was in love with her while she was still inside me, then I met her, saw her face, and wow, like a blow to the stomach, there it was, and thats what each day holds, another breathtaking moment or realization that I love her even more.

1 comment:

  1. love this. and all the adorable pictures. so glad to hear it's all still going so well!