Alone

As any stay at home mom knows when you've got a little one you only see alone time about twice a day and that's in about twenty second increments in the restroom.

In the past week I have gotten the chance to be alone more than normal. Most of that time has been spent in the car, running errands but none the less it was alone time. Only a half an hour here and there but hey I'll take what I can get.


Her first "salad"

Jared stayed home with the babe and while I had small little window's of time to run to church, a friends house for a clothes swap, and a consultation. There's a balancing act in the life of a nursing mom between getting time out to clear your head, and relax, and being home in time to feed the little one before bed. To not feel like you should be playing peek-a-boo, picking up toys and chasing and now very fast crawler isn't something that comes easily, it can't simply be turned "off" it becomes part of who you are. But in true nashville fashion traffic was a pain in the rear and I ended up spending more time in commute to destinations that I actually did at said places.

So I rolled down the windows, cranked up the volume and belted Sara Bareilles "Love Song" I know every word to that song, and I'm pretty sure the older gentleman who pulled up next to me at the red light thought I was training for American Idol or something judging by the way he looked at me sitting there playing drums on the steering wheel.

I called Jared and told him that I'd be home a few minutes late, which means "Umm I'm not cooking, start makin some grilled cheese." I pulled my left foot up on the seat, rested my arm on my knee and drove the rest of the way home relaxed, and casual, although I could hear my dad in my head saying, "What are you doing? You can't drive like that!"

I missed them. I was gone for a few measly hours and I missed them. And while I know I need a little more alone time before I start playing peek-a-boo with the check out clerk at the grocery store I love our family together time as well, the moments that you can visibly see Addiston get more and more excited to crawl back and forth from mom to dad, dad to mom, picking up speed and energy the more she takes it in that we're BOTH there. Normally it's one or the other, save an hour or so in the evenings. I love seeing the way she loves her daddy and how she chases the cats, dives over cardboard boxes like they're baracades in an obstacle course, climbing on everything (and anyone) within her reach.